Voice of the Recovery Community Award
Connecticut Community for Addiction Recovery (CCAR) is the recipient of The Joel Hernandez Voice of the Recovery Community Award!
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Rally for Recovery! 2008
Start planning your 2008 Rally for Recovery! event. This year's Rally for Recovery will take place on September 20, 2008! Learn more...
Event: Rally for Recovery 2006
“They had to anesthetize you somehow.”
Meg Haskell
Bangor Daily News
September 14, 2006
During the war in Vietnam, heroin, opium and speed were all readily available. Alcohol was delivered regularly to American troops, no matter where they were hunkered down in that devastated land. "They had to anesthetize you somehow," recalls Kenneth Allen, who was only 17 when he joined the Army in the late 1960s. "I had a pretty good habit going by the time I was discharged."
Public hostility toward Vietnam veterans and inadequate mental health services pushed him deeper into drug use, extinguishing his family’s dream that he would follow in his brother’s path and become one of the first black police officers in their home town of Boston. In 1979, trying to stay ahead of some legal troubles, Kenneth moved to central Maine along with his first wife and their 2-year-old daughter. He worked steadily at a series of "legitimate" jobs but continued to both use drugs and sell them.
Now 56, Kenneth is currently serving a two-and-a-half-year sentence at the Maine State Prison in Warren for trafficking in illegal substances. And though it would be easy to get his hands on just about any kind of drug he wants, he says he’s clean for good.
"Staying clean in prison, you’ve got to get real with yourself," he said. "I keep myself busy. I take time to read and to pray .…You’ve got to really work the 12 steps. If you don’t do the work, you don’t find the miracle." He remains close to his daughter and credits her support with helping him to stay on track.
Kenneth spends a good part of his time now advocating for fellow inmates who violate the rules at the prison. When he is released, he plans to attend Central Maine Community College in Lewiston and eventually find work as a substance abuse counselor. "When you’ve done what I’ve done and lived like I’ve lived," he said, "the only thing that makes you happy is helping people who are suffering like I did."
“I don’t think my victim will ever forgive me.”
Michael Carney already had a string of OUIs on his record when, two days after Christmas in 1995, at 8 in the morning, he crashed his vehicle head-on into another. The other driver was permanently and severely disabled. The accident, Michael said, "happened in slow motion. I remember every little detail, and that memory motivates me."
Charged with being a "habitual drunk driver," Michael, now 42, was sentenced to 15 years in prison - "it’s a small price to pay for walking out of here with a life," he said. He’s been clean and sober for about 10 of the 11 years he’s served so far, but says his real transformation didn’t start until three or four years ago, when he began to explore long-buried childhood traumas and feelings of fear and guilt.
"I got to the point where I didn’t have anything more to hide," he says. "I’m proud of who I am, even my past. My past made me who I am now." Now assigned to the Bolduc minimum security facility in Warren, Michael is committed to helping others, both inside and outside the prison. He sponsors inmates in 12-step programs and gives talks at public schools around the state.
Though he has apologized to the driver he injured so critically over a decade ago, Michael said, "I don’t think my victim will ever forgive me."
In or out of prison, users often relapse, he says, because they fail to break away from old acquaintances or are drawn to people who insist on reliving and reminiscing about "the good old days." His advice? "Don’t give up on yourself. Every day is a day worth fighting for your life. My recovery will always come before anything else, including my family and my work."
With money he earns working at Bolduc, Michael has purchased a few acres of land in Union. When he’s released, he plans to get an honest job and build a log home. "I want to be able to say ‘I made this; it’s mine, because I’m clean and sober.’" "Recovery Works" will feature two profiles each Thursday and will replace the "Finding a Fix" column through September.