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Faces & Voices in the News
Recovery's Power
Handy to Participate in A&E Recovery Project
Candace Blomendale
The York News-Times
August 28, 2010
UTICA — Pam Handy of Utica has a story to share and hope to give to all those affected by the disease of addiction.
Handy was chosen as the 2010 Nebraska Recovery Delegate and will take part in the A&E Recovery Project in Philadelphia during National Recovery Month in September. On Sept. 25, she will be participating in the Recovery Walk, which is sponsored by A&E Networks, the group Faces and Voices of Recovery and the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence.
The three organizations sponsor recovery walks all across the nation, but Handy said the Recovery Walk in Philadelphia is considered the hub. Local groups communicate how the events are going.
Faces and Voices of Recovery referred Handy, who has been in recovery for 23 years, to a website to fill out the application to become a delegate. Handy listed references and was asked to tell a little bit about herself and what recovery means to her. The application then went to a local group, which narrowed it down to two finalists. The local group forwarded the final two applications to A&E, who then made the final decision.
Handy, a long-term employee of BryanLGH Medical Center’s Independence Center Substance Abuse Program, said she is most excited about visiting Philadelphia and participating in the Recovery Walk. The walk begins at Penn’s Landing on the Delaware River waterfront and continues on for 1 1/2 miles past the Liberty Bell, The National Constitution Center and Independence Hall.
What means the most to Handy is having the chance to walk past national icons in support of the people suffering from addiction and their families.
“That’s the beginning of our country,” she said.
Handy noted how great it will be to walk by the place where the U.S. Constitution was signed. She said it is a document that says all men are created equal, but in many ways we know that’s not always how it happens, especially in the field of addiction. It’s the stigmatism of addiction that’s really striking, Handy explained.
Taking part in the Recovery Walk is “a chance to tell my story, celebrate recovery and try to break the stigmatism that goes along with addiction,” Handy said.
Handy said she is passionate about Faces and Voices of Recovery because it is truly a grassroots movement. Through her involvement with the group, she became aware of how people in recovery are the one component that is missing when laws are being put in place.
Handy’s mission is to organize local groups to get the word out about recovery. According to Handy, there are 22 million people affected by the disease of addiction. She said there are 22 million more family members, friends and co-workers who are also affected by it.
Handy said she takes it a little further and says those numbers are not truly reflective of the amounts of people affected by addiction. She said there have been studies that show there are also 18 million kids under the age of 18 who are living in a home where one or both parents suffer from the disease of addiction.
Above all else, Handy is trying to reduce the stigmatism of addiction. She said when people come out and say they are a recovering alcoholic or recovering from drug abuse, it puts people on the edge and makes them guarded. However, when someone says “I’m in long-time recovery and this is what it means to me,” Handy said it changes things a bit.
Handy noted that many people do not talk about their recovery except in support groups. There is a mystery associated with groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Handy said, because they are operated anonymously. When someone is first in recovery, Handy explained it is a very difficult time. She said those in recovery are transitioning from what they’ve learned about honesty.
Honesty is one of the most important factors of recovery, Handy said. Many feel as though it’s not necessarily safe to share their experiences with others while they are recovering.
“That’s what I want to change,” Handy said.
She is very much interested in getting organized locally. Handy said there is a Nebraska recovery project that is having a rally walk on Sept. 26 at the State Capitol building.
As a Nebraska Delegate, Handy agreed to get the word out and get people involved locally in recovery. Her goal is to have a planned recovery walk in this area at this time next year.
If she were sitting one on one with someone who is going through the tough first part of recovery, Handy said she would first hold their hand. She would then share her experience with them.
Handy would say, “I’ve walked there, I’ve been where you’re at. Let this group support you until you can stand on your own.”
Next, Handy would hook them up with sponsors so they can have someone to reach out to.
“The one thing we all know is you can’t do it by yourself,” Handy said.
It’s important that those coming in to support groups feel welcomed and be greeted.
“It takes a lot of courage for someone to walk into a support group for the first time,” Handy said.
Discussing the effects addiction has on children is something Handy is extremely passionate about. Once a month, Handy gives a presentation to those in the early part of recovery about the effects on children. She gives her personal story of four generations of people impacted. Handy also presents different educational points.
“It can be pretty unsettling,” Handy said.
After her presentation, Handy said many people note how amazing it is to hear her talk today about who she was back then.
“It’s very awe-inspiring to those people,” she said.
For many, Handy’s presentation is the first time they’ve heard an adult say “that’s what I did.” It’s often not something they usually hear.
Handy said many people suffering from addiction are not capable of admitting it or don’t know how to get help.
“It’s an extremely expensive disease,” Handy said.
She said it costs family members and the community as a whole a lot. Many people dealing with addiction do not have insurance, Handy said.
“It is fiscally sound to invest on the other end,” Handy said.
Handy’s own experiences with addiction and recovery are helping her connect with people as a Nebraska Recovery Delegate. She is willing to share her story with others. The journey to becoming this year’s Nebraska Recovery Delegate really began 23 years ago when she entered into recovery.
Her path to recovery started when her oldest son was involved with the juvenile justice system, as many youth are who have parents suffering from addiction, Handy said. He had been arrested for stealing a car, and Handy said she knew it was the end of the road and that they were going to take him away. That’s when Handy decided to take him somewhere to get help and have him evaluated. Handy said she knew it would look favorable to the courts if she herself also went in to treatment.
She remembers sitting in group and talking to young women who shared their stories of abuse, struggles, low self-esteem and how they thought they were crazy. As Handy listened, she identified with all that they were saying. It was her story, too.
What helped her the most was to realize that she was not living alone in darkness. Handy said it was “like pulling the blind up and letting light in.”
Handy had a therapist who helped her see her self-worth and saw more in her than she saw in herself.
“I never knew what life had in store for me,” she said.
When she thinks about her lifestyle before recovery, Handy said it felt like a miracle to finally experience the world and learn people would listen to her. The support from her group felt like having her own personal cheering squad helping her along the way.
Handy said recovery group members know you better than your family does. She wants those out there in need to know there is hope.
“I’d like them to learn this about themselves,” she said.
For everybody else, Handy said she would like to educate them about what recovery is. She said it’s not just the act of quitting drinking or drugs.
“Recovery is restructuring your life, and it doesn’t ever stop,” Handy said. “I’ve always said, ‘If everything stays the same, you’re not growing, and if you’re not growing, you’re not truly living.’”
Handy first started her fight to break the addiction stigmatism on a local level. In September, she will be taking her fight to the national level while continuing to serve the local areas.
She strives to help small communities because she said they have the same problems as larger communities. However, larger communities have more programs to help people in need. Many small communities are lacking the necessary programs to help people with recovery, she said. Handy would like to change this so that more people in smaller communities can have access to the help they need.
Handy said in the early stages of recovery, there is also a fear of being judged in small communities. The first way to change this is by educating people on what recovery is. Handy said when people are in recovery, they start getting involved in their communities, perform volunteer work and often vote for the very first time.
“Recovery is a very huge asset to any community,” Handy said.
Those in recovery are people who were once being supported by the community and have turned it around and are now giving back, she added.
Handy is an example of what is possible. She is in long-term recovery and has not used alcohol or illicit drugs for 23 years. She has been cancer-free for 22 years and has been stabilized on her medications for bipolar disorder for 15 years. For the last five years, she has been symptom-free from MS.
“I truly treasure this life. I have been given so many different chances and want to get out there and help that happen for others,” Handy said.
Handy said everybody knows the ugly part of addiction, but because of the stigma, they do not know the good part of recovery.
“It’s a very loving, nourishing thing to be in recovery,” Handy said.