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Our Stories
Kerri Bernstein
New York, NY
Just miles from the Lebanese border lies a beautiful village called Nes Amim which houses one of Northern Israel's many Kibbutzim. However, this Kibbutz is quite unique in that it inter-relates with a center called Haderech. Haderech is the only licensed 12-step program in the Middle East. This center accommodates 50 men and women "in a tranquil atmosphere" aiming to treat people who suffer from any addiction, including eating disorders, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, and even gambling.
The treatment lasts anywhere from 3-8 months, with a minimum of a 3 month commitment. The treatment includes a combination of individual and group therapy, seminars, workshops, lectures, and sports/family intervention, all encompassing the 12 step method. The program focuses on awareness of the addiction, and the steps towards healing and obtaining the skills to cope with the disease. It also focuses on preparation for developing healthy relationships, social skills, and practical skills for leading a normal life after treatment. The staff consists of trained psychiatric and medical staff, social workers, educators, counselors and therapists, many of which are recovering addicts.
Haderech is incredible, and yet tucked away in a beautiful part of northern Israel. How does one discover such a place? My Brother is a drug addict, and has been for the past 12 years. He is 24 and has already experienced every drug one could imagine. When my Brother came to us (his family) for help, we knew this was it; this was the time that he actually wanted to get better. We felt that we had to get him as far away from home (Atlanta, Georgia) as possible. He had been in many different treatment centers in the United States.but somehow, when the going got rough, he would always manage to find a way home. We looked into many foreign countries where we knew he would not have access to his passport once in a treatment program. Israel came to mind, but who knew of a program there? I did some research, and thanks to a Jewish Recovery program in the states, and a listing for Haderech on their website, I got in touch with Amnon, the director of Haderech. Approximately one month later my Brother was en
One might ask. do they speak English there? The answer we were given was yes, which was great because my Brother didn't speak one ounce of Hebrew. They also told us that the sessions were not in English but that my brother would work with an interpreter (which did occur, once in a great while). Well he quickly learned that maybe 5 out of 50 people spoke English.and only as a second language! At first, my Brother said he couldn't go through with the program. He didn't understand anything, and it was like boot camp.worse then his time spent in jail. He said he would stay three months and one minute.since three months was the initial commitment. My Brother quickly realized he had a choice. Either he started to pay attention and pick up on the language so that he could possibly get something out of the months he had already committed to, or to sit and reflect day in and day out. He chose to reflect, and to pay attention. He picked up the language very quickly, and we were amazed to hear him carry on a
Don't get me wrong, this program is not all fun and games, and the living conditions are modest, at best. Though the program and the grounds may sound very posh and cushy, even exotic, this campus is far from a country club atmosphere. It is very hard, intense work. It is militaristic and physically demanding. The program gives an individual the chance to really discover yourself, and find out what might have contributed to your addiction.
My Brother explains to me in a letter "I am forced (not forced, but given the opportunity) to really go deep into my troubled past and let all the pain and suffering out. This is my recovery.my feelings: past and present; depressed and repressed." The hard work is not down and dirty chore work, it is mostly mental, which you will soon realize is just as draining. All individuals have a responsibility along with their treatment work, whether this be sweeping the pathways, or being the "care taker of the week" of a patient in need of constant monitoring, making sure they do not go anywhere on their own, or do anything destructive.
In letters my Brother wrote to us, he briefly described the therapies given, which he noted as "breathtaking- an absolute miracle." Of course these groups are extremely personal, and kept anonymous.
. Morning group (Kvutsot Boker) is held 3-4 times a week. It includes everybody but focuses on a couple of people who are really having problems. It is not about discipline or consequence, but about getting help from your peers, and usually ends up being pretty emotional. Everyone eventually gets worked on, if not they are not getting the treatment they need.
Mivgash is held once or twice a week and is similar to the morning group however the schlav bet individuals (those in stage 2 which signifies having been in treatment more than 2-3 months) are also present and they consist of smaller groups. Like the morning group, one person gets worked on, but it is much more intense- "lots of yelling, and lots of tears."
Twice a week there is "tallichit" which is only stage 2 people. (My Brother gets his own English version once a week- just for him).
Mini groups are process groups where one individual shares things about their past or a specific topic they need to discuss in the open. The group then reflects and shares their own personal experiences or just simply gives constructive feedback.
Once a month there is a step-in, which occurs when the house (group) needs to be "cleaned". My Brother describes it in laymen's terms "when there is tension, bad behavior, and generally a lot of BS in the air". It is a cleansing process to get it all out in the open. Everyone (all 50-60 people) stands and circles up in one room (not air-conditioned) and anyone who has any grievance about someone else has an opportunity to confront this person. This can last anywhere from 6-12 hours, always standing with your hands behind your back, remaining silent unless you are in the circle.
Then of course you have one on one therapy.
In August, after he had been there four months, my family and I had the amazing opportunity to visit my Brother and experience Haderech first hand. The staff and residents welcomed all of us into their home and into their lives. We spent the Sabbath with them and broke bread with them.all of them. They celebrated our visit, and we celebrated their hard work and success. It was beautiful and it made us understand why after all was said and done, my Brother decided to stay the course and "not leave in three months and one minute."
There are no guarantees the program is going to work. While they boast one of the best success rates in the world, it's still only 18%. My Brother went to Haderech in April and will be coming home in September. When we went to visit him we asked what his thoughts were about Haderech, since he was so hesitant to go. He described the place as his own piece of heaven and refers to his social worker, Limor, as his personal angel. Simply put, my Brother explains that Haderech is a gift from G-d and it has saved his life.
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