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Our Stories
Tiffanie Dean
Fort Payne, AL
Hello my name is Tiffanie and I am a person in recovery from drugs and alcohol. I was born and raised in Fort Payne, Alabama and I have one sister who is 6 years younger than me. We were taught right from wrong and from an early age, she had wisdom, I had rebellion. I remember as a child I began to develop a different personality, mine was more out of the ordinary. I remember wanting things in life that were not good for me. I craved the bad, and eventually allowed it to become part of me. During my high school years, I was very active. I was homecoming queen, voted school favorites, I was involved in student council and held class offices. I loved school. I graduated in 1985 and started at community college. It was there when my life was shattered. I dropped out of college to be something I did not want to be, and that was pregnant.
I got married and moved out of my parent’s home. I felt I was forced to start a life when I had no idea of what living was all about. I began to feel a huge void in my life. Unexpected things threw me for a loop. I would blame others for the condition I was in, I then built up walls that almost killed me in the future.
I gave birth to my dear son, whom today I love so very much. He is in college and doing well. The challenges of becoming a mother were more than I could handle. I was given prescription pain pills for a tooth ache I had, and needless to say they not only cured the tooth ache, but they also took away my feelings. Then and there I was addicted. I had found something in a bottle that relieved all my pain, at least for the moment. My little bottle of pills sustained me for almost 9 years: I used nothing more and surely nothing less. I was up to about 30 a day.
I went to 5 treatment centers trying to please my family, which only brought on more resentment. I was also admitted in 3 hospitals for anxiety and depression. None of those helped- I was not ready. I was into the self-centered mode, and stayed there.
Eventually, my pill addiction was not enough and I went on a mission for something stronger. I was then introduced to meth. The first snort I was addicted. What transpired after that was; I divorced my husband, abandoned my son, lost my job, left my entire family and became homeless.
I stayed at the dope house and eventually married someone there. I went in weighing 130 lbs. and left weighing 98 lbs. I stayed in that situation for 6 years, in and out of jails, rehab and was finally was sent to prison. I was sentenced to 10 years for manufacturing; I served 13 months.
I had no idea who I was anymore, but I did realize I was stuck with ME. I had no idea if I would ever gain my sanity back. I began to pray and ask God to help me. During those months in prison, I can say I vacationed with God. I began to feel for the first time in a very long time. I searched deep into my heart and began working on myself, which I have to say was very painful; a pain I needed and a pain God healed. I dedicate my whole life to God, He is the reason I am alive today, if I’d had my way I would have died in my addiction.
Today I am free and a grateful recovering addict/alcoholic. I attend support groups, work at a treatment facility, and am presently going to school for my MSW. I pray daily and try to keep an open mind to God. I continue to work on me which is a daily task. Anything worth having takes effort. I also keep a daily journal and reflect back to it as often as I need. It is truly one of the ways we can see miracles happening.
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