Our Stories
Share the power of long-term recovery. If you are in recovery, a family member, friend or ally of someone in recovery, we want to hear your recovery story!
Learn more...
Voice of the Recovery Community Award
Connecticut Community for Addiction Recovery (CCAR) is the recipient of The Joel Hernandez Voice of the Recovery Community Award!
Learn more…
|
Our Stories
Rhea McVicker
Beltsville, MD
In 1997, I lost my 22 year-old son Nick to the disease of addiction. Nick began drinking at age 13. We thought he was experimenting like many kids his age do, but soon realized that his drinking went beyond experimentation when we discovered that he had cleaned out the basement bar and replaced the alcohol with colored water. Nick’s disease progressed and throughout the years, our family went to counseling, AA/NA and Al-anon and Nick completed four rehabilitation programs.
When Nick would return home from treatment we would take him to Alcoholic’s Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous meetings (AA/NA). We would monitor his behavior and talk about the expectations and boundaries for living at home. Unfortunately, each time Nick would complete a program, he would come home and immediately resume his relationships with his friends that were also using drugs. When Nick turned 18, we finally told him that he could not live at home and continue to use drugs. Telling him to leave was the hardest thing I ever had to do. The objective was to help him see how using drugs and alcohol were ruining his life and help bring his “bottom” up, so that he would seek the help he needed.
Although his using caused his behavior to be abhorrent, Nick had many, many good qualities too. He was handsome, very smart, he loved to read, had a terrific sense of humor and loved to make people laugh. He never held a grudge or resentment and he could be very loving and kind. Nick and I shared a special bond and he knew how very much I loved him. However, when drugs and alcohol began taking over his life the wonderful qualities were replaced with abusive language, disrespect and defiance.
Nick turned 22 in his last re-hab. It was there that he finally realized that he was indeed an alcoholic and not just a bad person. This time, when Nick got released from re-hab, he decided he would go to a halfway house/transitional home instead of coming home to live. This was a huge step for Nick and a major relief for us. He did well for a couple of weeks, until he caught up again with old friends. He ended up smoking pot and being evicted from the house.
He had two court cases pending and had to serve time in jail for both. He bounced around for a while after serving his sentences and ended up living with my sister. It was there that he died from an accidental overdose on prescription cough medicine with the ingredient of hydracodone. The enormous pain and grief that family members and I suffered is indescribable. All the years of hope, worry, treatment and planning could not change the outcome of this progressive and sometimes fatal disease.
In 1999, after much grieving, soul searching and prayer we founded Nick’s Place, a 501 (c) 3 non-profit transitional home for young men 18-25 beginning their recovery from addiction. Our mission is to provide a clean, safe, sober and supervised environment so they can begin recovery with their peers and form new friendships within the recovery community. Nick’s Place is the only home of its kind dedicated to serving this young population. Area treatment providers have embraced Nick’s Place as their choice for their younger clients. The program is simple and structured. Residents must find employment, attend daily 12-step meetings, participate in relapse prevention counseling and be responsible for household chores.
It was God’s grace that led us to this ministry and we enjoy returning our residents to our community and their families as respectful, employable and responsible young men. We are also proud of the alumni who are coming back to help our new residents find the path to long-term recovery.
The longer I work with the young men at Nick’s Place and their families the more aware I become of the need for education, advocacy and accessible treatment and available aftercare. So many families are affected by this disease. As we know, shame, guilt and fear keep many from getting the appropriate and necessary help. Further, complicating the process is knowing where to go for help. This can be difficult and confusing even when you are not in the midst of crisis. The information is available, but you need to know where to look.
I know that Nick’s Place and I are committed to helping facilitate change and will continue to be dedicated to helping to eliminate the shame, stigma and fear associated with addiction. We are privileged to see recovery in action on a daily basis.
Click here to sign up for the Faces & Voices online newsletter. Meet other powerful faces and voices; get regular updates of the recovery community’s advocacy across the country!