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Our Stories
Stacia Murphy
New York, NY
I began drinking as a teenager, when I developed a liking for alcohol. My drinking began to progress in college, where I probably had many of the classic symptoms of a problem, but it was fun and I was a kid, and I was functioning really well.
I held responsible jobs all along, but I didn’t know that I couldn’t stop drinking. At one point, I took what I call “a geographic,” and moved to a country in West Africa, but I took me with me. In sobriety, I’ve learned that I was the problem, and that moving wouldn’t solve it.
When I returned, I again took a responsible job, but I was binge drinking regularly. I was beginning to look terrible, and I was showing up for work only about three days a week. After talking to my family, my best friend came to me and told me, “I think you have a drinking problem.”
Over New Year’s in 1974, I checked into a five-day de-tox. I did go to a self-help group over the next couple of years, but I continued drinking. I made contacts with people in the group, who just told me to keep coming. One morning in 1976, I woke up and said, “I can’t do this anymore.”
The journey of recovery has been extraordinary. I will never make as important a decision as I did 28 years ago. I don’t use it as the basis of my professional work, but I use it as a reference. Recovery has given me a wonderful life. I was always open about it, but the stigma aspect did not become clear to me until I started working on the national level. I now talk about being in recovery from a medical problem, a brain disease. I believe that my coming out means hope for others. I don’t have to be ashamed, and neither does anyone else. I was once despairing and hopeless. I take responsibility for my addiction and for my recovery. I know people’s lives can change, and I am proof of it.
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