Our Stories
Share the power of long-term recovery. If you are in recovery, a family member, friend or ally of someone in recovery, we want to hear your recovery story!
Learn more...
Faces & Voices of Recovery's book page
has information on many of the growing number of recovery-related publications. It’s a work in progress, so please let us know of other books that you think we should include. Check it out!
|
Our Stories
Jeannie Villarreal
Santa Clara, CA
I can remember the day my whole life changed. I was 10 years old and on my way to my first boy-girl dance. I thought I looked just about as cute as a little 10-year girl could. I arrived at the dance full of anticipation; and left the dance disheartened and dejected. When I got home, I told my mother that I had danced all night. Her reply to me was “I am surprised that anyone would ask a funny looking little Chinese girl to dance.” Those words resounded in my head at such a volume that I thought I would go deaf. You see the truth of the matter was, no one had asked me to dance and now, I knew the reason why. I was a funny looking little Chinese girl.
As life progressed, this one little unintentional, thoughtless phrase dominated my life. When I took my first drink, I felt I had found the answer. With alcohol, I was no longer so little and definitely not so funny looking. I could not change the fact that I was Chinese, but with alcohol, that fact didn’t seem to matter as much. When I discovered cocaine, my whole world changed. Making friends seemed easier, talking to people seemed second nature, and everyone seemed to like me, and for one fleeting moment, I felt like I had it all.
One day, I am not sure exactly when, my lust for life was replaced with the lust for drugs. My husband, my son, my job and my friends were over-shadowed in my need to use. But I was one of the fortunate ones.
In February 1992, through a family intervention, I went into treatment. I remember the drive to my in-patient program—I had never been so afraid in my life. However, I found treatment to be very patient, compassionate, and understanding. I was introduced to my disease and given some tools to manage it. The counselors worked with me to overcome the issues that kept me returning to drugs. What I found out after graduation is that my journey to recovery was just the beginning. I began attending support group meetings and learned from others who had traveled this road before me. I no longer have the desperate need to be liked by others because I have learned to like myself. Maybe I still am a funny looking little Chinese girl, but today it’s okay to be her, today she is loved and respected by the most important person in the world…me!
Click here to sign up for the Faces & Voices online newsletter. Meet other powerful faces and voices; get regular updates of the recovery community’s advocacy across the country!