Our Stories
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Voice of the Recovery Community Award
Connecticut Community for Addiction Recovery (CCAR) is the recipient of The Joel Hernandez Voice of the Recovery Community Award!
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Our Stories
Arthur Zwerling
Elkins Park, PA
My name is Art Zwerling and I’m an alcoholic/addict that has been continuously sober since October 21st 1987. I am currently employed full time as a Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist in the Philadelphia area. I have been a certified addictions counselor, group and family therapist, physician assistant, research associate in neuropharmacology, critical care nurse over the years. Currently I am completing my doctoral program at the University of Tennessee Health Science Center in Memphis, TN. Before , I introduce you to some of the science, statistics, and evidence based data surrounding the disease of chemical dependency and it’s impact upon the professional nursing community, I hoped to share a little of myself and my recovery.
In October of 1987 I was admitted to the Friends Hospital Alcoholism Recovery Program, following a death defying relapse to my addiction to alcohol, sedatives and pain medication. By what I believe was an act of providence, I was introduced to Doris Leffler, RN, CAC, CARN, the director of the Alcoholism Recovery Program and founding member of the Philadelphia Recovering Nurses Association (PRNA). I was indeed fortunate to have been given the gift of desperation. I had been so completely defeated and spiritually eviscerated by my addiction that I was ready and willing to do whatever Doris suggested in order to begin the road back to sobriety. While undergoing an excruciating detoxification, I was sent to my first outside meeting with a member of the PRNA, Tommy D. When we arrived at Hall Mercer Community Mental Health Center where the Friday night meeting of the PRNA has met continuously since 1982, Doris introduced me to the group; “This is Art, he’s a PA, but he’s OK.” There began my journey in recovery and adventures with advocating for health care professionals with the disease of chemical dependency.
Understanding the persistent nature of chemical dependency and addictive thinking is truly a challenge, even for those of us in recovery. The best example I can give is from my own experiences following the ANA convention in Philadelphia in 2002. After hosting an International Nurses Anonymous Meeting and doing a poster presentation on Peer Assistance Resources, I carried my poster and handouts back to my car experiencing some gnawing back pain at the time. Later that night, I got up to go to the bathroom and experienced incredible lancinating pain in my leg and promptly had a syncopal episode. I woke up disoriented in horrible pain with my dog licking my face and my wife screaming in the background. To make a long story short, I had an acute disk herniaion at L2-L3, that landed me in the Emergency Room. Despite my protests that I’m in recovery and I’ll do fine with a shot of toradol, it was soon evident that I needed a narcotic analgesic to be able to position me for x-rays. Well I can tell you that, before the ER RN had the syringe of dilaudid out of my rear, I wanted another shot! Well here was the perfect opportunity for a “freebie”. Fortunately my fear of relapse outweighed my rationalizations about how “legit” this scenario was. When I got home I tore up the prescription for percocet, loaded up with ibuprofen and acetaminophen. I have an agreement with my internist/addictionologist that severely restricts my options for taking any controlled substance on an outpatient basis. I share this with you to highlight the persistent neuroplastic changes in the human brain that happen with chemical dependency. My brain immediately went not to anticipated pain relief, but to intense euphoric recall. I am convinced beyond any doubt that had a functional MRI or PET scan been done during this event, that it would show a brain with marked changes in metabolic activity between midbrain reward systems, limbic projections and cortical projections. Had this scan been compared to a non-addict undergoing the same exact experience, I am sure that the differences would be obvious. Part of the science that I want the reader to grasp is how the brain changes in very profound, very possibly irreversible ways in addiction. The current evolving neuroscience has brought us a new interpretation of a very old adage from the recovering community; “Once you’re a pickle, you never go back to the cucumber patch.”
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